Today my hair is a little bit longer, a little bit dirtier, and a whole closer to where I need to be. Yesterday was like a weird little eddy of emotion; I was spinning around in the current of negativity. There was no direction, and everything felt so far away. School was a blur of disappointment and aggravation. I left my house for Condesa at 3:55pm, and I didn't exit my car until ten after five---I made it to Condesa in 15 minutes--parking was a meditation in my lamentation.
I was heavily focussed on the negativity, on what I did not have: I did not get the dream apartment, I did not find a parking space, I did not have a good day at work, and so on. I did have two cool dogs, and good conversation with a friend over tacos.
My mom gave me the simple advice, that in two weeks it will all change. And in the grand schemes, that is humbling. Two weeks to get over my pity party--I think I can deal. I can't find an apartment I like, its not as if I am dealing with the atrosties of a natural disaster...I need to humble my little party for one at Cafe Pity.
Today was good. Today is better. I think I am on a path to where I need to be. I am going to decide whether or not to take an apartment, that is super close to the park, but not super big, but has a patio, but not as cool as the other one I saw, which is still cool, and sort of funky, and would be easy to clean, and and and...Sometimes it boils down to just making choices.
And so it goes.
No it is time for department meetings.
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