Midday Realization: Three Classes in a Row and a Realization

My friend Shimmy once told me, "I'm fucking tired of dealing with incompetence". I agree. When the little pre-madonna, gucci high heal wearing, longostas--lobster is an affectionate term for promiscuous young women--when they continue to talk in that ditsy rollercoaster inflection, they call speech; when they do this, I think of Shimmy's words, but I ad, "I'm tired of dealing with incompetence, and having to maintain my composure." The same goes for these little Abercrombie studded young bucks, who look like the thick inbred phallice of the industrialized world--their bravado and cavalier nature...well it makes me long for the understanding of what a hard right hand feels like while crossing the stagnate surface of a cheekbone.

But alast, I wear this ID. This ID is me smiling at my financial security. This ID is a day when I wore a tie, and my hair still had bounce to it. This ID is why I am scared to make a meeting with my principal and tell her that I am not coming back. I feel a slight limbo right now. I feel like I am waiting for this change, and I fear it. I know I want next year to be about art. I fear I will fail at my conviction, and I will just struggle to pay bills. I know that ending my job before contract will be a symbolic commitment to this change. I know that I need to take this risk, to know that I am living my life, instead of just feeding a secure future.

I have been a full time student and a full time teacher, and ALWAYS a part time artist--I know that this ID needs to be retired to a part of my history.

To the Journey At Hand.